鬼域

　　原本想要看的是HBO的電影，做為一天的終結。可是忍了四十幾分鐘罷？實在是除了看過更好題材與深度的內容後，對於這部電影，也就在遙控器的頻轉間，被取消了。要識一部影片須花費一個半時間觀看，的確爛片可能要看許多。「可是什麼叫爛片呢？」這個問題的範圍好大，要剖析與主觀喜好的愛惡，都與個人或許在過去人生經驗上，有所投射與寄情；在短短的一部影片裏，我們找到了寄託與逃避，亦或是增加自己個人其它在未觀看這部影片時，擴充了視野。

　　我想挑戰某些事情，首當其衝，應該就是戒掉睡前服入服劑。那種感覺，真得很像自制力不好外，彷若魔鬼附身地做出日日起床後的，盯著食物包裝的無力感。

　　這篇發文是現在的我，在服藥後寫的。一邊寫著日記，一邊看著金馬獎第48屆搬獎典禮。可是藥效已經開始發作了，我無法再撐下去接文，祇覺得眼前一片濛濛發暈與和黑。

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　　早上九點五十六分起床，去上廁所時，看見門外的電線，又再被老鼠咬得處處傷痕。不知為什麼，老是捕捉不到它們。現在面對與老鼠對峙的心情，已稍稍沒到往昔那麼懼怕了，或許真是恨意和一再被它驚嚇和擾亂，而這一切讓自己比較能面對它們。

Al Green〈How can you mend a broken heart〉 lyrics

I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do
I could never see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again

I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow, no one said a word about the sorrow

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again